How to Get Your Peeps to Embrace the New YOU (without defending yourself or alienating anyone)

Blog Everything Else July 26, 2012

You’ve committed to yourself and you’ve made a major effort to really do it this time.  You got your butt into gear, and you’re so excited to be moving forward after putting it off for so long.

After marinating on what you SHOULD do for weeks, months, maybe even years, you’ve FINALLY stepped up to the plate and decided it is YOUR time.  You’re ready to play a bigger game, and nothing’s gonna stop you!

BUT – just when you’re starting to get some traction and can really tangibly feel yourself making forward progress, evolving into the YOU you truly are and so deeply want to stay true to, you get resistance.

Your husband asks if you can miss your pilates class so you guys can have family fun day.  Just missing this one class isn’t gonna mess you up, right?

Your mom resists your commitment to cut meat from your diet, insisting a meal’s not a meal without some animal protein in it, right?

Your best friend woos you into a cocktail at Girls Nite Out even though she knows you’re 4 days into your 21-day cleanse.

Don’t they want you to be happy?  Why are they making it so hard for you to stick to your goals?

You’re on such a roll with pilates, but you definitely don’t want to miss family fun day…  Maybe mom’s right, and this whole vegetarian thing is silly.  And just one drink couldn’t hurt, right?

Right.  But maybe it could.

Are your loved ones really trying to sabotage you?

No, not in most cases.  At least not consciously.

But – they may be having a hard time embracing this new, improved version of you.

Even though you’re not asking them to make these same changes in their own lives, they’re afraid they won’t be able to connect with you in the same way they always have, now that you’re making these changes in your own life.

Or maybe seeing you treat yourself with such love is making them aware of areas in their own lives where they could use a little more self-love.  And maybe that feels a little uncomfortable for them.

Don’t defend yourself or your choices.  And don’t try to get them to follow suit.

Let them know you love and appreciate them, and that the best thing they can do for you is be supportive.

And then, go forth and conquer.

If you want them to embrace the new you, then YOU have to embrace the new you.

Once you do, they will too.

And maybe, just maybe, they’ll be inspired to embrace a little self-love too.


Hey – if you like this article, share it!  (There’s handy little buttons below).

And while you’re here, let the rest of us know what YOU do to handle resistance from loved ones.

In the Comments, please tell us:

1.  What goal you’ve set for yourself that you’re not going to let anyone get in the way of!

2.  What you say to loved ones when they resist your changes.

3.  Any other tools you have to keep yourself on track!

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  • The way you describe sound exactly like my own experience when i live with my family. They are not ready to make the changes I’m committing to myself that why we always argue about what to eat and what to include in the meal. Eating and exercising seems to be the 2 areas that many of us struggle with if we don’t live alone.
    1. My goal is to maintain my new routine so I can have optimum energy for all the things I have to do and want to do everyday.
    2. I will just let my loved ones know that if they don’t support, please don’t try to stop me. lol
    3. I use my BB to organize my time, and ipad to find recipes and go shopping. 🙂

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